Family Hierarchy

Roan says:

"Daddy's the boss of Mommy, Mommy's the boss of me, I'm the boss of Ilan, and Ilan's the boss of his choo-choos."

"But Roan," I say, "why is Daddy the boss of me?"

"Because he's bigger than you," Roan says.  "He can pick you up."

"But Roan," I say, "I'm the boss of Popi, and Popi is bigger than me."

"Well," Roan says, not missing a beat, "you're the boss of Popi because Popi is always getting in trouble with you.  That's how I know you're the boss of him, even though he's bigger."

"But what about Daddy," I say, "doesn't Daddy get in trouble with me?"

"No," says Roan, "I think you get in trouble with Daddy more than Daddy gets in trouble with you."

Race Cow

When Lani says "car" it sounds like "cow."  This leads to really hilarious sentences, like,

"Mommy, where is my red race cow?"

Or, when playing with Roan:

"My race cow is faster than your race cow!"

And even though I hear it all the time, I still forget that "cow" is "car."  So when he says, "Mommy, want to play race cows?" I start laughing and say, "race cows?"  And Lani gets mad.  He really doesn't like being misunderstood.

"Race COW, Mommy." He says, really loud, as if I'm an idiot.

Oh, right. Of course.

Spotlight on the Moose

Ilan talks all the time now.  He likes to repeat whatever we say.  He repeats *everything* that Roan says.  But he has some lines that are all his own.  His favorite is: "Hey, that's not nice!"  I hear this constantly.  Changing his diaper is not nice.  Putting him down for a nap is not nice. When he comes to the table for a meal, and is confronted with a food he doesn't like, that is really not nice. Each time he says it as if the sentiment has just occurred to him. His outrage is fresh. It's as if he's just realized what an unfair world he lives in, and can no longer be silent.

Washing his doggies is not nice. Changing his socks is not nice. Refusing to read him the same book for the fourth time is not nice. Draining his bathwater is not nice.

When Lani is frustrated, he hits us.  When we say "no hitting," he spits.  When we say "no spitting," he gives a half-hearted yelp.  By then he's usually got it out of his system and is ready for reconciliation.  "Kissing is nice?" he'll say.  And then he'll start kissing everything.  Sometimes I suspect that he starts the whole hitting / spitting cycle just to get to the kissing stage.  Like someone who starts a fight just to makeup.

Lani has been taking swim lessons with Jay - a Daddy and me class. It was at the same time as Roan's swim lesson, so it was convenient, but we recently pulled him out.  It just started to seem a bit pointless.  He's comfortable in the water, he blows bubbles, goes under, does some short swims. What he won't do is go anywhere near the teacher. So we decided to save some money and go to family swim instead.

Lately I've been doing some role playing with Roan, to help him deal with the chaos of school.  I'll say something like, "Okay Ro, pretend I'm Violet, and I say..." but I can never finish, because Lani Moose will scream, "No!  You not Violet!  You Mommy!"  

The Moose really hates role playing.  He also refuses to acknowledge that Jay and I have our own names, apart from Mommy and Daddy.  Roan has tried many times to explain this concept, and something about it deeply pisses Ilan off.

After I put the boys to bed I hear them arguing, Roan talking in reasonable tones, explaining something in a calm and logical voice, and Ilan opposing him. Tonight Roan came out of the room to say, "Mommy, I can't go to sleep because Ilan started a conversation with me and he won't stop talking."

Typical Moose.