Pregnancy Photos

Jay and I took a trip to Santa Barbara in August, just the two of us. Well, just the two of us and Fred.

We hung out with one my best friends from college, Elise, who is also pregnant. This will be my last pregnancy, and I'm really trying hard to enjoy it, so we asked her to take some pregnancy photos of us on the pier. Jay was agreeable. At first.

He quickly became overwhelmed with the sheer number of poses. All of them featured my thumb in my pocket, because Elise told me this tactic was sure to make my arm look thin.

As if the issue was my arm.

Jay could not manage one straight face through this classic pregnancy pose of father-to-be cradling baby-to-be. In contrast, I was so devoted to the photo shoot that I managed to keep my thumb planted in my pocket throughout all this nonsense.

Maria Torres took this last photo, before we flew back to New York. I was 5 months pregnant. I thought I was huge. Now I am 7 months pregnant. I want to shake my 5 month pregnant self and scream, "bitch, you don't even know what pregnancy is!"

Pregnancy, as it turns out, is no longer being to wear either of the shirts I wore for these "pregnancy photos," because they are no longer up to the task of covering my belly.

I sense another photo shoot coming on.