Friday, March 6, 2009

Mother's Little Helper

1. Cheese
2. Butter
3. Ice Cream
4. Margaritas
5. Chocolate
6. Chocolate Eclairs
7. Tuna
8. Lasagna
9. Yogurt
10. Frozen Yogurt
11. Nachos
12. The Reason You Order The Salad (for the cheese)
13. Pizza
14. Mac n' Cheese
15. Corn Bread
16. Muffins That You Want To Eat
17. Chocolate Chip Cookies
18. Nutella
19. Edamame
20. Risotto

A sampling of things I can not partake of while breastfeeding my milk and soy intolerant son.

Even so, something is still bothering him, so we went back to the pediatric G.I.  

G.I. - "Do you eat any unusual foods in high volume?"

Me - "Um, no, nothing unusual, but I eat a lot of burritos.  And rice and beans.  I eat rice and beans all the time.  That's my favorite food."  

Subtext: if you tell me to stop eating them, my life will no longer be worth living.

G.I. - "Do you make them yourself?  From scratch?"

What a question.  It's obvious this man is not a working mother.

Me - "No."

G.I. - "Then how do you know there is no dairy in your beans?"

Me - "I eat black beans.  From Chipotle.  They are dairy free.  I've asked."

I've never asked such a stupid question, but I lie to reassure him, because I really don't like where this conversation is headed.

G.I. - "No more Chipotle.  I wouldn't trust them.  Normal people should not eat Chipotle, much less nursing mothers."

I almost burst into tears.  But then Roan actually does burst into tears, so I get a hold of myself, and leave the doctors office with something that looks like dignity.  But I am dying on the inside, oh pediatric G.I.!  

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