For my birthday I planned to take Roan to the Brooklyn Children's Museum. I know, not all that ambitious in terms of birthday plans. It is 3.6 miles away and takes only 12 minutes to get there by car, according to Mapquest. I had the entire day free. But I've learned from experience that when you combine a 1-year-old with my organizational skills and subzero degree weather it will take a miracle to even leave the apartment.
Birthday Plan: Cultural Enlightenment
Birthday Reality: 6 Loads of Laundry, Joint Nap, Took out Trash
The first monkey wrench in my plan was Roan's refusal to take his morning nap. So I trapped him in the bathroom while I showered. Except our bathroom door doesn't close all the way so I periodically jumped out of the shower and chased him around the apartment dripping wet to keep him from a)unloading the dishwasher, b)turning on the stove, c)changing the spin cycle on the washing machine, d)blasting Dolly Parton's "Jolene" on repeat. Needless to say, it took me longer than anticipated to get ready.
While "trapped" in the bathroom Roan saw his toothbrush. I won't pretend to understand it, but when Roan sees his toothbrush it's like an alcoholic just sprung from rehab gazing at a bottle of Jack, or when Harry finds Sally at that New Years Party. Magical reunion. He has to have it. He can't live without it. Initially I didn't give it to him. He cried and cried. 20 minutes after I gave it to him he was still making those post-traumatic sniffle noises and giving me dirty looks.
Then it was lunch time. Why does it take so long for me to prepare Roan's lunch? No matter how long it takes me to make it, it takes him longer to eat it. And then it takes twice as long to clean us both up, and 4 times as long if you wipe everything down and wash the dishes (why I generally skip those steps). So it's 2PM and Roan is worn out. I put him down for a nap. He wakes up crying after half an hour and when I pick him up he passes out in my arms. I bring him to bed with me and he sleeps for another 2 hours while I read and doze. By the time he wakes up and I put on his coat the museum is closed. We take the trash out. Going outside, even for a mere 5 minutes, gives us both the sense of accomplishment we needed.
oh boy.
ReplyDeletei know exactly how you feel. we have the same problem with the toothbrush, the dishwasher, the after lunchtime mess and the getting ready to go. i have to admit that sometimes, the thought of leaving the house is too much. three people??? three people to get ready just to go to the grocery store and get milk??? it's not worth it.