Safety Hazards

We are sleep training, again, so the Robot is super cranky.  We tried everything to make him happy, but none of our old standbys worked.  We danced to his favorite show tunes, looked out the window, put him in his Einstein 2 (aka The Amusement Park), read his favorite books, let him play with the faucet, and even gave him control of the remote.  We have dozens of toys designed to make babies happy, and all of them failed.  Finally, I gave him a large plastic bag with this warning label:

Babies have horrible survival instincts.  In any given room, they are irresistibly drawn to whatever has the most potential to kill them.  Along with plastic bags, Roan is also obsessed with the blind cord, which he somehow wrapped around his neck yesterday.  When I unwrapped it, saving him from death by strangulation, he started to cry.

I know Roan can't read yet, but it seems like he is bent on proving these safety warnings wrong.  This plastic bag is absolutely a toy.  And it's the only toy that's made him happy all morning.